What do women really want for Valentine's Day? Advice for men and women

Romantic getaways at DINE innsThe answer to this question might come as a surprise.  Much to the chagrin of retailers, when women are asked what they really want for Valentine’s Day the answers usually revolve around kindness and gratitude.  We asked our fans via Facebook what they want for Valentine’s Day and most responded they hoped for small tokens of appreciation or special surprises.  One response came from an innkeeper on Cape Cod who explained that her best Valentine’s Day gift came from her husband who surprised her with a beautiful box filled with special messages of endearment and a heart shaped stone from the beach nearby.  Other women commented on how much they’d love that too.

In a Forbes.com story entitled “What Do Women Really Want For Valentine’s Day?” most women echoed the sentiment of our Facebook fans.  “If I could have anything this year, it would be nothing more than a heartfelt ‘thank you,’ since it’s one of the many things men have difficulty communicating,” said Jenna Walsh, an account executive in Boston, according to the article.  Meanwhile, Marissa Hermo of New York City explained she’d like her partner to let her “talk for a few hours and really listen”. Others like Jocelin Engel wish their partner would simply say “I love you.” Facebook fan, Carole Ballard, co-owner of Thurston House B&B said “I have always told my dear husband if he bought me anything like expensive jewelry or flowers on Valentine’s because he had to, I would kill him! I much prefer the little flower picked when coming in from the yard or the little note left in my suitcase when I travel alone.”

Yet the stakes are high

Like it or not, women expect something on Valentine’s Day and the more thoughtful the better. And guys – if you bring home sexy lingerie on Valentine’s Day, you’d better understand she means it when she says “you shouldn’t have!”. That’s a gift for you, not her.

While women like their men to be mind-readers and know exactly what they want, for most men clairvoyance is simply not in their genetic makeup.  Ladies, if you want something, you need to spill the beans, and the more detail the better.  The conventional wisdom among women is if they ask for a gift and get it, then it “doesn’t count”.  Women want their men to figure it out themselves.  So girls, if a romantic escape to a gorgeous country inn is what’s on your mind, don’t expect your man to know that.  Perhaps forward this blog with a “hint-hint” message, and a link to the DINE website.King guest room at Deerfield Inn

In fact, more than 3600 travelers reported that a B&B getaway topped the list for Valentine’s Day gifts, according to a January, 2010 survey distributed by BedandBreakfast.com. More than one in three (the largest percentage) of the respondents answered they’d like a B&B getaway when BedandBreakfast.com asked what they wanted for Valentine’s Day, trouncing chocolates and romantic dinners. And while most women say they prefer the small sentimental gift, a number of those who responded on Facebook also mentioned that the flowers they received were among their favorite Valentine’s Day gifts.

According to Forbes.com, Marilyn Kagan, a psychotherapist and author in Los Angeles, advises couples to use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to strengthen their relationship together. The tough economy, money and job concerns have likely taken a toll on your relationships.  Use the holiday as a good reason to rekindle the romance and focus in on what you love about one another sometime in February.

There you have it, men.  Input from psychotherapista and women themselves suggest sentimental gestures, gratitude, flowers, and romantic escapes will all be winners this Valentine’s Day.

Next upWhat do men really want for Valentine’s Day? Advice for women.