Ask ten men what they want for Valentine’s Day and statistics will show that at least two will answer with a three letter word. The younger the audience the higher the percentage of three letter word answers. Yet, contrary to popular belief, sex is not the only thing on men’s minds at Valentine’s Day. Fast cars, beer and of course food are also a direct means to a man’s heart. As them though, and you’d be surprised, however, how many men will answer that “her happiness” is what they hope cupid will bestow on Valentine’s Day.
I asked my husband what he’d like most on Valentine’s Day and he answered “a nice dinner at a favorite restaurant with just the two of us” would top his list. Not bad! He passed the test as I realized his answer fit into the category of men who care about their women’s happiness knowing that’s what I’d love to do too.
Here’s a little advice for women. In a story in Hitched Magazine, Dr. Scott Haltzman, author and renowned expert on marriage and committed relationships, told readers, “Here’s the one thing your man wants above all others for Valentine’s Day: he wants you to be happy. Whether he chooses to bring home seashells he picked up from the beach, or give you pearls, he wants to feel that he’s rocked your world”. In keeping with our previous post about What Women Want on Valentine’s Day, Haltzman concurs, “The average guy starts to get pretty nervous around Valentine’s Day because he knows his woman is expecting something special. That’s a lot of pressure. So ladies, if he tries to do something special, remember to bubble over in rapturous appreciation. Your enthusiasm will mean more to him than any present you can buy (and may result in even better presents next time, as you build his confidence).”
Surprisingly, Haltzman goes on to explain “Some men want material objects for Valentine’s Day, but the majority of them would rather have time with you then something you bought. Going out to dinner, for example, is nice for both of you.” Cha-ching! My husband, who refers to himself as “Joe Average”, is right up there with Haltzman’s majority.
Just as we mentioned in part I of this series about what women want for Valentine’s Day, an MSN Lifestyle story explained that among the top ten things men want for Valentine’s Day are a “Get Out of Jail Card” for free, silence, fast driving experiences, less make up, an outfit worn for him (not to impress her friends) and gift ideas for her. The author goes on to advise women “If catching on to subtle hints isn’t his specialty, have a friend brief him on what you might like this year. He’ll feel like a genius, you’ll get exactly what you want, and you’ll both eliminate awkward trips to the store to buy, and then secretly return, crappy presents.”
There it is ladies; the best way to a man’s heart is through a lovely dinner spent with you where you show your appreciation and gratitude for his wise ways. A little less make up and his favorite outfit will put the icing on the cake, according to experts. Enjoy your dinner combined with a getaway to a beautiful country inn, and you’ll both have your Valentine’s fantasy fulfilled.
Dr. Haltzman is the author of “The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less.” He is currently the Medical Director of NRI Community Services in Woonsocket, Rhode Island. Read more about him and see excerpts from his appearances with Rachel Ray, Today Show and Good Morning America at www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/. You can find Dr. Haltzman at www.DrScott.com